Weird American Shit

This page is going to contain all of those weird little things that I noticed about America and Americans during my year in Washington DC in 2006…

• The Toilets all have these little handles to flush instead of a button on top
• And the toilets again? They flush really weird. All the water is sucked out from the bottom and then refilled just as quick Small u-bends too so they get clogged alot.
• The light switches are back to front generally. Up for on and down for off.
• The showers suck. You cant control the strength of the water, only the temperature. What the hell? I thought it was just where I was living, but it seems to be like that at other places as well.
• All sinks have a little hole in them. Just in case the sink overflows I guess.
• There are so many ‘trucks’ here. Big SUV’s and pickups and 4 wheel drives. The Americans love that shit.
• Dont get me started on driving, but one big thing is that noone seems to indicate, They change lanes willy nilly and don’t even think about telling people, let alone look.
• Lamps don’t have those little clicky things there are in Australia. There are little knobs that you turn. One click for half, then turn more for full and then off.
• A lot of rooms do not have overhead lights in the ceiling. Just lamps.
• The walk signs at room crossings look white and not green.
• The bees here are huge. They are fully bumblebees, not the little ones we have in Australia
• You get pickles with everything. You know, those big long green pickles? Yeah. They include them with sandwiches.
• Chicken Burgers are called sandwiches. Burgers here are Beef ONLY. And then you get to pick how cooked you want them. Even KFC has Chicken Sandwiches. Weird.
• Things are old here. The houses look old (even if they are really new) and the American cars all look sort of old as well. It’s like, people just can’t accept change and new things.
• Curtains don’t seem to exist much here. They love their blinds and their shutters, but no curtains??
• People like to talk themselves a lot. Just randomly on the train, walking, eating. They talk. No-one even seems to notice.
• Tipping sucks enough as it is, but there seems to be no way to avoid it. Tipping a buck a beer is normal, and that’s after paying $6 for a beer in the first place!
• People don’t say ‘You’re Welcome’. They are more likely to go ‘Uh-huh’ after you thank them for something. Like ‘Uh-huh’ is somehow a word??
• If you ask for chips with your burger, you end up getting a packet of potato chips. Gotta remember, Fries…Fries…Fries…
• The photo of George W Bush and Dick Cheney as you walk down the gangway at LAX Airport? Freaky man…Freaky.
• Noticed during the World Cup: When a player is brought down in the box (or in Italy’s case, when a player dives in the box) there is a ‘PK’. Not Penalties, or Penalty Kicks, but PK’s. Freaks.
• Americans are obsessed with the weather. Especially in DC. If there is a spate of rain, wind, sun, snow or nothing at all they make a hug deal about it in the news. Oh yeah, and they go ‘crisis-shopping’ for all the water and bread, like they won’t be able to make it through the puddles of water…
• TV Commercials are aimed at the stupid or the weird. They are either so damn obvious and un-subtle, or really twisted and surreal that you don’t know whether to laugh or raise an eyebrow.