Cricket. What happened to you?

Is it just me, or do others feel that cricket has lost it’s lustre?

I remember the days, back in the mid 80’s. Lillee, Border, Marsh (both), Boon, McDermott, Merv, O’Donnell, Jones.

We had a magical team back then. Cricket was THE national Australian sport. Played everywhere. Watched by everyone.

What’s happened?

We’re facing a 7 game losing streak in One Day Internationals. We don’t hold the Ashes. Crowds are falling. Match Fixing allegations are flying.

It feels like the game is self-imploding. If it weren’t for the big money coming from India, I think it would be even closer to death.

We lost to Sri Lanka the other night because we couldn’t get their No. 10 and 11 batsmen out! Sad sad sad.

The last few years have really been disappointing for me as a cricket fan. I’ll go as far as to say that I’ve lost interest in most aspects of the game apart from test matches. 20/20 matches, for me, have ruined the original shortened version of the game, the 50 over ODI’s. The everyday fan is so keen to see players attempting to smash every ball and to have the game wrap up in 3 hours that they’ve given up on the laborious 50 over match.

At least test matches still hold that traditional feel, but when the Pakistani’s start to mess with match fixing, it even ruins the pure perfect version of the game.

I went to Lord’s in July and watched the Australians play Pakistan on the hallowed turf. It was a fantastic atmosphere being at the ‘home’ of cricket. Listening to poms around me, taking in the MCC members, drinking the English beer. It really hits home as to what cricket is about.

How can it recover? How can cricket come back to what it used to be?

Maybe McDonalds should start giving out posters of the teams from the ‘World Series of Cricket’ again. Maybe we should ditch 20/20’s and focus on the One Dayer again. I mean, did you see the 20/20 the other night? We were crap. We couldn’t slog to save ourselves, and if you don’t slog in a slogfest, what’s the point??

I still love the sound of leather on willow, the voice of the Channel 9 commentators and the local ABC radio covering the tests, but I am getting close to giving up on the shortened bastardised version unless something changes soon.

And to those that say 20/20 is the future, take a look at yourselves. It’s nothing more than a short, talent-less money grab. You don’t need a lot of skill to swing the bat and hope for a 6 or to bowl slower balls every 2nd ball to confuse the batter that has pre-determined his slog (shot).

I would be happy for 20/20’s to disappear from the game altogether, but of course that’s not going to happen whilst it is making more money than ODI’s and Test matches.

The Friday Fuckwit

One of the best segments on Triple J’s Breakfast Show has always been The Friday Fuckwit. It’s where people call in with nominations for who was the biggest fuckwit of the week.

Nominations often include politicians, sports people, entertainment and TV personalities, or just random idiots that exist in this world.

This week I have my own nominations….

• To the dickhead streaker at the cricket the other night. Here’s wishing that Symonds had actually hit you harder. He’s apparently made $6000 profit after Ch. 9 has reportedly paid him $7,500 to appear on ACA, after he’s paid the courts $1,500. Maybe Ch. 9 paid him to streak before he did it. I mean, Australia’s cricketing performance was that crap it wasn’t worth watching!

And if you’re interested, check out this link which has an American TV report on it. Apparently they call our stories, ‘Only in Australia’ stories. Don’t we have the same for them?

• To George W Bush and Dick Cheney who could be arrested in the state of Vermont after residents in 2 small towns voted in favour of impeaching them for breaches of the constitution. Seeing those 2 in shackles would be damn funny. Could you imagine seeing them getting pushed into the back of a cop car and driven to the town limits? Yeah right. It’s good to see that it’s possible for these things to happen though.

• To the SCG Trust, who have double-booked the SCG for next Sunday. If the NSW Blues win against the Redbacks in the Pura Cup match this weekend, the final would take place there, whilst the Wests Tigers and St. George-Illawarra are also scheduled to play their season opener on the historic ground. What a screw-up. I mean, fair enough it’s a big deal should NSW win and be able to play at home, but shouldn’t this has been considered when giving the same ground to the NRL?

• To the Banks. Such an easy target, but you’re all a pack of fuckwits. The NAB has decided to raise it’s interest rates by 0.29% of a percent even though the official rate was raised by 0.25% This is despite the warnings from the Treasurer and a number of recent rises. Apparently there are also more to come. When will it stop??

• Some Fuckwit in Canada decided to volunteer to be the first person to get a tattoo ON HIS EYEBALL!! Click here for details and pictures that I am refusing to look at!

• To the people that join the group on Facebook called ‘Stop forcing me to “Invite 20 Friends” and then proceed to invite 20 people to join it. Fuckwits!!

But with all these nominations, there is one bunch of Fuckwits that wins todays Friday Fuckwit award.

• To the ‘New Idea’ magazine, who could also be called the ‘No Idea’ magazine. Prince Harry was nobly serving his country and fighting on the front line in Afghanistan. A job that not many people would choose to do or have the balls to carry out. After New Idea exposed the story in January, it took a few weeks for the news to spread, but apparently Taliban forces were searching for him from Mid January once the news was further reveals on a US Web Site until he arrived back home last Monday. There were rumours that the leak came from the Royal Family itself as they wanted him to return home, but I can’t see how risking his life on purpose is very smart.

So, to all the Friday Fuckwits, congratulations! If you missed out, maybe you can get nominated next week 🙂

HamBeerCricket. Now. Please?

I want the year to hurry up and end. My motivation for almost everything has hit rock bottom.

Work? Meh.

Blogging? Meh.

Christmas Shopping? Meh.

I am house-sitting for a mate for a week or so from Saturday.

All I want is:

Lots of This,

A Case of This,

And a few days of This…

That’s all, thanks.

And then?

Some of this…

Gilchrist, the best? Pull the other one.

I’ll probably be shot for this, but I DON’T LIKE ADAM GILCHRIST.

Never have. Never will.

Even right back to the beginning when he was brought in to replace Ian Healy. I thought it was crap that Heals was dumped before the first test in Australia and didn’t even get to farewell his home crowd at the GABBA.

Adam Gilchrists’ keeping is sub-standard.

He is getting close to breaking Healy’s Australian wickets record, but he is not even close to being at his level. He will drop a catch (easy ones) almost every test match and quite often will dive in front of first slip when it is a regulation catch for them.

He is really, only in the team for his batting which, admittedly, is very good. Yes, he can bat, especially when he gets loose balls, but I wouldn’t call him anything special.

And then he gets named as Australia’s greatest ever One Day Player. What load of crap!

Are their memories so short that they can’t remember the other ‘real’ greats?

Let’s pull some figures out of the bag here.

As of today:

Adam Gilchrist – 9246 Runs. Avg – 35.97. Strike Rate – 96.66. 15 100’s, 52 50’s.

Ok. Decent figures, sure. The average is ok for a one day player and his strike rate is almost run a ball.

Let’s look at some other contenders

Ricky Ponting – 10,594 Runs. Avg – 43.41. Strike Rate – 80.33. 23 100’s, 63 50’s.

Better average. More centuries. Still an excellent strike rate.

Let’s go back in time to one of the great one day players Australia has ever had.

Remember, this is before the days that teams were scoring 280 and 300 as a norm. If you scored 50 in the first 15, you were considered to be on track to a decent score.

Dean Jones – 6068 Runs. Avg – 44.61. Strike Rate – 72.56. 7 100’s, 46 50’s.

Deano was a revelation at the time. A big hitter, an entertainer but able to stick around when needed.

Speaking of sticking around. Was this man even considered?

Michael Bevan – 6912 Runs. Avg – 53.58. Strike Rate – 74.16. 6 100’s, 46 50’s.

He was one day cricket personified. A master at the finish and a handy bowler to boot.

And what about bowlers?

Glenn McGrath – 381 Wickets. Avg – 22.02.

Craig McDermott – 203 Wickets. Avg – 24.71.

You even had one day specialists like Merv Hughes, Peter Taylor and Simon O’Donnell to consider…

..

So, why Gilchrist?

Especially when he can hardly glove a simple catch.

Nowadays it’s just about the runs. 20/20 has been introduced and all of a sudden people are bored at Test Matches? Come on. It’s the only REAL version of cricket there is. If you want hit and giggle, watch the celebrity games, or go down to your local oval.

It just shits me that new players somehow overshadow the players that made our game great.

Cricket is back. Get me a Beer and a Bar-bee. It’s gonna be a long summer.

The squad for the Test Match against the Sri Lankans has been announced.

Player                                         State     Age
Ricky Ponting (captain) TAS 32
Adam Gilchrist (vice-captain) WA 35
Stuart Clark NSW 32
Michael Clarke NSW 26*
Matthew Hayden QLD 36
Brad Hogg WA 36
Michael Hussey WA 32
Phil Jaques NSW 28* (to replace Langer)
Mitchell Johnson QLD 25* (to replace McGrath)
Brett Lee NSW 30
Stuart MacGill NSW 36 (to replace Warne)
Andrew Symonds QLD 32
Shaun Tait SA 24*

A lot of speculation has been around whether McGill would make it and whether Jaques would replace Langer as opener. I think the answer is yes and yes, but the 13 man squad will be reduced to 12 next Wednesday.

I hope McGill gets a run. For too long he was bridesmaid to Warne’s heroics and the simple fact is, if Warne wasn’t around, McGill probably would have snagged as many or more wickets than Warne did.

I like the look of the team though. Mitchell Johnson is a talent and an able replacement for McGrath. Symonds is in too good a form to leave out of the tests.

It’s still an old team with only 4 players in their 20’s, but I think we have some good talent coming through to take over from the Hayden’s, Hussey’s and Gilchrist’s.

I think Hogg should be dropped for the test, and Tait made 12th man. We can go an all pace attack at the bouncy WACA.

Whoever they pick, let’s SMASH THOSE LITTLE SRI LANKANS!