Friends FAQ

Friends are a big topic of thought and conversation lately.

I have discovered that the friends of mine and LaLa’s, and the way we interact with them is quite different.

I have always had a few really close good friends, then some that I’ll see now and then, and the others that I only see on certain special occasions.

I could put them into these sorts of categories (just for bloggings sake. I don’t actually do this)

Close Friends (that I see at least once a fortnight)

I’d say there would be 2 or 3 people that fit this category. These are people that I know I can always rely on if needed and they can rely on me the same way.

Close Friends that I communicate with often, but live interstate

These are friends that I have always been close to, but because of distance may only see once every few months or a few times a year. At least 2 friends fit into this category.

Friends that I have known for a long long time, but only see on certain occasions.

This is the case with a number of friends that I have known since high school. I know that when I see them I’ll have a good time, but neither of us really make special efforts to spend time with each other.

Friends that I haven’t known for that long, but i see regularly

This groups includes friends from work, of which I only have a couple that I see outside of the workplace, and then friends from sport and music pastimes. These usually aren’t the friends that I would go to when I need to talk, but are good for company and partying with.

The problem is, that there are times when I just find that I don’t have the mates around that I really want. Because of partners, work, their busy lives or mine, it just seems that there are times when I feel quite lonely in this town.

Luckily I have 2 sisters that I know I can always count on and it helps to be able to talk to them whenever, but they have their own busy lives as well.

It doesn’t help that my best friend and person I want to talk to the most in the world is 3 hours away. Even though we speak a few times a day, sometimes it just doesn’t feel like enough.

Yeah, I’m a sook, but hey, this Long Distance thing sucks arse.

But what I really wanted to know is how does all this compare to other people? How many friends do you have in the above categories? How much of an effort do you make to keep contact with them? Does anyone have Friends like the TV show? Is that even possible? Can we agree that Jennifer Aniston was the hottest Friend? Can we hope that they never do a re-union show? Although perhaps ‘Friends in Australia’ could be fun….

The thing that I think is important with my friends is that even though I may not see them all that often, it doesn’t really matter. Because most of them have been friends so long I know we can just pick it up from wherever we’ve left it in the past.

I think this is why i find it hard to make new close friends. I don’t have the time to be able to build that friendship up to a point where I feel we can be comfortable enough to not see each other all that often.

If that makes sense…

So, hey, if anyone is actually reading this blog and not just searching for Tits and Footy, then drop me a line…or 2.

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About Mick

I've been around a while. I like to wrap myself around the warm security of the interwebs which have consumed me since 1993. I whinge, I rant, I crap on. Enjoy. View all posts by Mick

10 responses to “Friends FAQ

  • enny

    I find it hard to make new friends because I feel I’m always being judged (and proddly because I am judging, so I guess it’s only fair).

    I don’t have one best friend – I have many close friend, but I’d say that The Hun knows me the best – he has said he sees a different me with my friends than what I am with him – which is true.

    Close Friends (that I see at least once a fortnight): 3

    Close Friends that I communicate with often, but live interstate: 2 – both internet friends!

    Friends that I have known for a long long time, but only see on certain occasions: 4

    Friends that I haven’t known for that long, but i see regularly: 3

    I also have friends from martial arts (roughly 20 in Canberra and another 10 or so interstate) and I count my siblings because we’re all within 5 years of each other and hang out quite a bit :o)

  • alyndabear

    Wow… let me see.

    Close Friends (once a fortnight) – Er, zero right now?
    Close Friends that live across country – Er, all of them!

  • LaLa

    Well, as this post was inspired by me I better comment! Usually though I am just here for the tits and footy…

    I really cannot categorise my friends however I have a very different friendship circle to you.

    I went to about 10 schools.
    I’ve lived in more houses than I can remember in over 8 different cities (some of them twice, at different times) in 4 different countries.
    I had to learn early to adapt. It hasn’t always been easy.
    I’ve held well over 25 jobs… I think. Who would know?

    Also, most of my jobs have involved dealing with volume amounts of people (Retail stores, cafes, pubs, recruitment, sales) so I meet a lot of people every week. I tend to make friends at work and make friends with my clients. (In fact I am going for drinks with one tonight) I make friends through those friends…

    Sure, I’ve been burnt a couple of times, making friends too quickly with people I’ve worked with who have turned out to be a little loopy, but life is about learning and I’ve learnt a lot from my friends, current and the ones no longer part of my life.

    I couldn’t even tell you how many people I count as “best” friends but they live in Sydney, Canberra, Weipa, Dubai, London, Toowoomba, Melbourne, Brisbane, Antibes…

    I do find it hard to sometimes to juggle a long-distance relationship and my friendships, but I am pretty good at multi-tasking and those that live far away… I know that even if I have not spoken to them in over a year or 2, I can pick up the phone or see them and our relationship just picks up where we left off, just with new partners and new kids and new jobs.

    Some of my best friends I am related to. I consider my Grandma one of my best friends.

    My friends (including you Mick) are the family I have chosen.

    You can never have too many friends, I just hope they all appreciate me as much as I appreciate them even if I can’t give them all the time I would like to.

    Maybe I just need to clone myself.

  • Aurelius

    Enough of this shit!
    Give us more tits and footy!

  • Mick

    I sorta think that maybe you can have too many friends….

    Quality vs Quantity?

    I think I have chosen to avoid making new friendships, because I just know that I can’t really give them the time a friend should have.

    Not to say that I avoid people, but there’s a definite step towards proper friendship that I haven’t really taken with people that I could have…

  • turnonthestars

    I have one close friend in Sydney, a few good friends whom I don’t often see also in Sydney. Then I’ve got two really good friends in Melbourne, and after that.. everyone is in the UK.
    Including the boy I am currently calling mine.

    three hours would be a blessing compared to a 24 hour flight.

  • LaLa

    You are lucky I know you are joking about quality versus quantity.

    If everyone looked, behaved and had the same group of friends or treated their friendships in the same way, what a boring fucking world it would be.

  • Melly Mel

    LaLa’s plug worked coz I’m not here for tits (got them already) or footy hehe. 🙂

    I actually found this a really interesting exercise you know, I have been giving a lot of thought to friendships since breaking up with my previous partner (hate the word ex, so blikky) in October last year. This has been brought about because not only do I work from home and spend most of my day alone – unless I am seeing clients or catching up with my mum for lunch – but for the first time ever I am now living alone as well. It’s kinda made the friendships that I have a whole lot more important as I spend an awful lot of time solo these days which has been a very new thing for me. Initially it was real hard but I love it now as I have discovered an independance I never knew I could have and also because I have discovered other ways of expanding my circle of friends that I would never have looked at before. I’ve also discovered new ways of maintaining friendships too as I encounter some of the same strangenesses as LaLa having lived overseas for a spell. Not anywhere near as much moving around as her mind (u army brat LaLa lolz) but still 5 schools, 3 different countries and friendship with enough internationals to have mates I talk to regularly in the UK, Thailand, US and the Philippines as well as the home grown crew. So, my breakdown is below, but I am going to add some categories of my own.

    Close Friends (that I see at least once a fortnight): 2 and they’re both family

    Close Friends that I communicate with often, but live interstate (or overseas): 5 (all of them very dear to my heart)

    Close Friends that I don’t have to see all the time to still stay close friends with (and when we catch up we have an absolute BALL): 2

    Friends that I have known for a long long time, but only see on certain occasions: zip, I don’t really count people I don’t pursue an active friendship with as friends but don’t think there are any people I know that fall into this cat anyway

    Friends that I haven’t known for that long, but i see regularly: 2

    Friends that I maintain an online friendship with as I can no longer physically see them (living overseas etc) but that I would still have a good time with if I did – just not going to necessarily tell them the outpourings of my soul! approx 10-15?

    Workmates/ex workmates I count as friends even tho we may or may not talk often: approx 15

    Realistically, I have a small core of mates that mean the world to me, all of them not living locally other than my mum n bro. Then I have an expanded circle of friends that I still value really highly but I just don’t have the level of closeness that I share with the core folks, again predominantly not local. One really could find a lot of layers to this if one keeps thinking about it only shortly after getting up!!!!

    At the end of the day I think people conduct friendships the way it best suits them, depending on their nature. Some people need the energy of many around them to feel balanced, others are the opposite. Some folks will have one best mate and one only whilst others will have a few. All a matter of what works for the individual and the people they count as friends…

  • Jules

    Yeah, I’m hear from LaLa’s recommendation and am glad I came. I too have my own tits and take my son to footy every Wednesday and Saturday so definitely not here for either of them.

    I often wonder about his friends lark.

    I consider our darling LaLa a friend even though I have not met her. I have a few online blogger friends that just pull it out of the bag when my “real life” friends don’t.

    Close Friends (that I see): 3

    Close Friends Interstate or International: 4

    Close Blogger Friends: 6

    Friends I Have Known for A Long Long Time but hardly see: 10

    New Friends that I See Heaps but Aren’t “The Shit”: 3

    I have more but they just don’t fit into the category anymore.

    What about the friends that used to be the best ones but somehow you have different agendas and seeing them just annoys the hell out of you??

  • skye

    Hey

    I just wanted to say I hope I wasnt being a bad friend when I ran out on your msn today .. I was running late for work and it was my firstday back since my operation 😦 .. I hope we still friends lol x You have always been a great friend to me .. while in DC and now you are back in OZ … sharing mexican .. music .. and mmmmmm cant think of another m! Your sports stories are the best!! Even though my footy team kicks your butt your not too bad a sort! Nyways Im not going to go into all my other friends because I am talking about my friendship with you .. too mushy now .. gonna go listen to some Evanescence!

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