The Tie Rant.

 I’m going to have a rant…

About TIES.

Ladies, unless you went to a private school, or have some sort of cross-dressing fetish, you have probably never worn a tie, but the male has at some stage or another come to a point where the decision has to be made.

Tie? Or no tie?

Firstly, let’s get to the basics. A tie is a piece of material TIED around the neck. It looks stupid. It has no use and it GETS IN THE WAY. (How many guys have you seen with tomato sauce stains on their ties?)

I mean, how fucking stupid is that? Who invented such a stupid idea?

Can I punch him in the face?

Line up….

According to the never-ending pool of knowledge that is the Wikipedia, the history of ties goes back to the 1600’s where Cravats were brought into style by the French, however it was the English in the 1850’s that decided on the Four-in-hand, or the tie as we know it today.

Maybe we can blame Charles II of England for coming up with the the knot, or was it the Croats?

I think we can blame the inventor of the lounge suit and one-time designer to the queen, Sir Edwin Hardy Amies  who once said,

“It is of vast importance to the total costume. It comes into a room almost before the man.” 

Blow it out your arse, you old pommy git!

..

..

So, I work in a job where I deal with important political (oxy-moron?) people, including people who think they are important, and I am required to wear a tie when ever I am around said people. I despise it. I have only been in this job about 6 weeks and have already got into the habit of just bringing a tie to work, but only putting it on if needed.

I also own a lot of really bad 90’s cartoon ties. Perhaps I will take a photo one day. There’s a Sonic the Hedgehog one, a Cartman one, Marvin the Martian, Bugs Bunny…… Of course, this would not be appropriate in my job, but I used to have the idea that if I HAD to wear one, it would be something cool.

Most days I don’t need to put it on anyway, and when I do, I sometimes keep the top button undone but cover the fact up with the tie.

Then of course once I am out of range, I rip the fucker off.

There are even Health Issues associated with the wearing of the tie.

As time moves forward, I think the attitude towards ties is slowly changing. A report in the UK says

The proportion of men in professional jobs who buy ties has dropped from 70% in 1996 to just 56% today. And, to break that down only 28% of office managers have bought a tie in the past 12 months. (The Guardian Online, September 4, 2006)

Women? What do you think? Men with ties. Good? Bad? Don’t care? Looks like a phallic symbol?

Guys? Do you hate them? Love them? Wish that you could tie one around your bosses neck and then feed it into the shredder?

Rant…….over.

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About Mick

I've been around a while. I like to wrap myself around the warm security of the interwebs which have consumed me since 1993. I whinge, I rant, I crap on. Enjoy. View all posts by Mick

5 responses to “The Tie Rant.

  • LaLa

    2 words.

    Stilettos and stockings.

    At least ties don’t make you stupidly hot, hurt your feet, give you bunions, bad back and corns on your toes.

    However, I wore a tie at school and at one stage during the early 90’s ties were popular for women. Let’s pray those days never return.

  • Dean

    I’m pro tie. I don’t wear ’em every day, but I reckon they’re generally a good lookin’ thing. People who wear cartoon ties should be fed into shredders.

    [I see you still have that Snap preview plugin irritant installed…grrr…]

  • Living in Canberra

    Hate them, and only wear one occasionally. Used to always wear suit and tie to work, but haven’t had to bother in my current job except for meetings with some customers, and when travelling overseas, depending on customary business dress standards where I’m going.

  • Alyndabear

    STOCKINGS.. freaking stockings! BOO.

    I don’t like ties.. in my opinion dress shirts/suits looks just as good without them.

    I used to have to wear a tie in high school.. stupid SRC council.. and I still to this day do not know how to do the bloody thing up. STUPID.

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