Weird American Shit
This page is going to contain all of those weird little things that I noticed about America and Americans during my year in Washington DC in 2006…
- The Toilets all have these little handles to flush instead of a button on top
- And the toilets again? They flush really weird. All the water is sucked out from the bottom and then refilled just as quick Small u-bends too so they get clogged alot.
- The light switches are back to front generally. Up for on and down for off.
- The showers suck. You cant control the strength of the water, only the temperature. What the hell? I thought it was just where I was living, but it seems to be like that at other places as well.
- All sinks have a little hole in them. Just in case the sink overflows I guess.
- There are so many ‘trucks’ here. Big SUV’s and pickups and 4 wheel drives. The Americans love that shit.
- Dont get me started on driving, but one big thing is that noone seems to indicate, They change lanes willy nilly and don’t even think about telling people, let alone look.
- Lamps don’t have those little clicky things there are in Australia. There are little knobs that you turn. One click for half, then turn more for full and then off.
- A lot of rooms do not have overhead lights in the ceiling. Just lamps.
- The walk signs at room crossings look white and not green.
- The bees here are huge. They are fully bumblebees, not the little ones we have in Australia
- You get pickles with everything. You know, those big long green pickles? Yeah. They include them with sandwiches.
- Chicken Burgers are called sandwiches. Burgers here are Beef ONLY. And then you get to pick how cooked you want them. Even KFC has Chicken Sandwiches. Weird.
- Things are old here. The houses look old (even if they are really new) and the American cars all look sort of old as well. It’s like, people just can’t accept change and new things.
- Curtains don’t seem to exist much here. They love their blinds and their shutters, but no curtains??
- People like to talk themselves a lot. Just randomly on the train, walking, eating. They talk. No-one even seems to notice.
- Tipping sucks enough as it is, but there seems to be no way to avoid it. Tipping a buck a beer is normal, and that’s after paying $6 for a beer in the first place!
- People don’t say ‘You’re Welcome’. They are more likely to go ‘Uh-huh’ after you thank them for something. Like ‘Uh-huh’ is somehow a word??
- If you ask for chips with your burger, you end up getting a packet of potato chips. Gotta remember, Fries…Fries…Fries…
- The photo of George W Bush and Dick Cheney as you walk down the gangway at LAX Airport? Freaky man…Freaky.
- Noticed during the World Cup: When a player is brought down in the box (or in Italy’s case, when a player dives in the box) there is a ‘PK’. Not Penalties, or Penalty Kicks, but PK’s. Freaks.
- Americans are obsessed with the weather. Especially in DC. If there is a spate of rain, wind, sun, snow or nothing at all they make a hug deal about it in the news. Oh yeah, and they go ‘crisis-shopping’ for all the water and bread, like they won’t be able to make it through the puddles of water…
- TV Commercials are aimed at the stupid or the weird. They are either so damn obvious and un-subtle, or really twisted and surreal that you don’t know whether to laugh or raise an eyebrow.
15 Responses to "Weird American Shit"
2 | Glenn
The lamp thing is doubly odd when the powerpoint is linked to the wall switch (it tok forever to figure out why some sockets didn’t work). But turning on red is so useful
3 | Lady E!
Frankly, I don’t think the phrase, “You’re welome” is a part of the american vocabulary system. One can always tell americans are about…not only by their unmistakable loudness, but by their, “Uh-huh” or “No problem”.
4 | larry
every country has a signature phrase, Canadians have eh, Aussies have gday…we are loud, we are obnoxious at times..but we are who we are..good bad whatever, we make no apologies, if you think you might not like your visit, buy a round trip ticket.
5 | spankme
The ‘chips with that’ is like Kiwis asking for scallops. They expect battered scallops of the seafood variety, and are really surprised or feel they were ripped-off when they only discover battered mashed potato. 
6 | Van
Lol, awesome observation about us. I think this line is the most factual about the American people “It’s like, people just can’t accept change and new things”.
7 | Jason
The TV commercials crack me up! Especially the pharmaceutical commercials (”ED” anyone?) where they espouse the benefits of the drug in question, and then REALLY quickly list all the possible side effects at the end like the ads you get in Australia at election time.
And the fact that you can turn at red lights.
8 | Rex
And another thing, they dont differentiate much between afternoons, evenings and nights. A Teacher in my highschool says to a student , “Liam please dont joke around in class. Havent we talked about it last night”?. The heck does that mean school ends in the evening at 3 - 4 pm or so. Did she have a romantic conv. with him in actuality last night on the phone?..
9 | Georg
November 15th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
I am a German who lives in in the U.S. and in regards to the toilets here:
They get stuck extremely easily (I am in no way overweight if you know what I mean). Maybe it is the plumbing, maybe it is the small pipes. Maybe there is a limitation on how much toilet paper can be used. Toilets in Germany hardly ever get stuck, a plunger is an absolute must-have in every American bathroom.
10 | Some American Girl
I believe some of your statements are a bit exaggerated and unfair. Just because America operates different from your country doesn’t mean we’re weird. We’re different. I have neve been to Australia, but it sounds very exciting and if I do go, I know I would be amazed at all the different things that I am not use to-not put your country down because it’s not what I am use to.
Rex, their must have been something going on in the night time with that teacher & student because we know how to tell night from day. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! As for the picture of George Idiot Bush, I don’t believe there’s a pic of the president and vice president at the LAX just because California is strongly against him and something like that would trigger some kind rage. As for the showers, standard showers are built like that, if you’re rich, you probably can get a shower where can control pressure. Well, America is not perfect. No country is.
11 | Monsieur Lapin
Brilliant list. Pure hilarity.
You forgot to mention that Americans have their “feelings” hurt very easily by any criticism of American culture, no matter how accurate or humourous.
12 | valaki
hali! Nem tud valaki angol káromkodásokat? Pl.: Bazdmeg! Anyád! Seggfej…
Annak nagyon örülnék
13 | Batbitch
I think the list is great. In fact, I’m stealing it for a friend of mine. I’ll see that she gives you credit. 
14 | matthew
You might as well just tell us you hate america…and not tell us your problems.
Half of those are damn finicky and situational.
and
what you don’t talk to yourself?
I am a proud north american(not american).
We have big stupid vehicles, but we are no louder and blunter than australians.
we have manners.
I have grown to co-exist with most of the people of your country. I hope you give N.A. a second chance too.
m.
15 | Zinto
You really should go on Fox News with that list. They’d FILP OUT! Call you horrible names and then cut your mic off before you could respond. And then they’d go back to kissing George W. Bush’s and the Republicans asses.
That’s what they call fair and balanced.
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